Maybe I Just Needed Some Room

Last week, I wrote about something I’ve been wrestling with for a while:

What if I don’t actually want to keep living at this pace?

I wish I could tell you that I had that realization, prayed about it, and immediately figured out exactly what the next chapter of my life should look like.

I did not. 😂

I’m still wrestling with the heat, the brain fog, the headaches, my business, my paintings, what comes next, and approximately 47 other things my brain believes need to be solved before breakfast.

But something different happened this week.

I had room.

Room to slow down.

Room to notice people.

Room to play.

Room to make something just because it made me happy.

And maybe that is part of the answer I’ve been asking God for.

A Little More Room to Hear Myself Think

One of the sweetest things happening behind the scenes lately has been watching my husband step into a completely new chapter of his own.

After a long season of uncertainty, he found a new career path.

And maybe even more importantly, he found people.

Friends.

Coworkers.

Men who share his interests.

People who make him feel welcomed, valued, and wanted there.

I have prayed for that for him for a long time, and watching him begin to build a world that lights him up has been really beautiful.

And strangely, it is creating something for me too:

space to hear myself think again.

For a long time, I have felt like so much of my energy has gone toward simply keeping life moving.

Now I keep feeling this little tug toward the artist in me again.

Not the face painter.

Not the sparkle lady.

Not the business owner trying to figure out the next thing.

Just the girl who wants to put paint somewhere, make a huge mess, and see what happens. 😂

Artist Brooke Is Waking Up Again

Behind the scenes, I have been going through paintings, organizing old work, preparing my storage space for cooler weather, and slowly shifting my website so it feels more artist-led.

And the more I think about what I actually want to create next, the more I keep coming back to my Joy Bombs.

They are messy.

Colorful.

Unpredictable.

And impossible to completely control.

Which is probably exactly why I love them.

You pour.

You move.

You play.

You surrender.

You let the colors do whatever beautiful thing they decide to do.

And maybe that is a pretty good metaphor for what I am learning outside the studio too.

I do not need to know exactly where every painting is going.

I do not need to have the perfect collection figured out.

I do not need to know exactly what my business looks like six months from now.

Maybe I just need enough room to create something that makes my heart sing.

Apparently, Slower Means I Spoil Everyone 😂

Saturday I set up at a local summer homestead event in Marysville.

It was much quieter than many of the giant festivals and sporting events I have gotten used to.

A few months ago, I probably would have measured that entirely by foot traffic.

This time I noticed something else.

I had time.

Time to talk.

Time to connect.

Time to completely overdecorate children because apparently I cannot be trusted with an empty line. 😂

One little girl came to me for face paint and somehow ended up with artwork on her face, arms, and legs.

Basically a walking Brooke Zook installation.

And I loved every second of it.

 

I also met a wonderful young woman named Merriweather who was there vending with her mom.

We instantly connected and ended up talking about creativity, ADHD, and the funny ways our brains work.

There was henna.

There was hair tinsel.

There were sparkles.

There were treats being traded back and forth.

And there was just that lovely feeling of meeting someone and immediately thinking:

Ohhh. You are my kind of person.

Those little connections are still one of my favorite parts of doing what I do.

 

And because our booth happened to be right beside the baby bunnies, I also somehow became an unofficial bunny helper for part of the day.

Honestly, I have had worse jobs. 😂

Back on Home Turf

Sunday brought me right back to my own community at Susquenita High School for PECO Field Hockey Day.

And there was something really comforting about it.

Familiar families.

Familiar faces.

People who remembered me.

Kids excited to climb into my chair.

I have spent so much time driving around looking for the next opportunity that I sometimes forget how good it feels to be known right where I already am.

It was also especially sweet because I got to meet my husband’s new boss and some of his family.

I have heard so much about this new work chapter, so being able to meet the people who have welcomed him into it felt really special.

Although apparently the universe decided we also needed a little excitement. 😂

At one point, while I was concentrating very hard on a special-request chicken henna, a small child came over and grabbed my tablecloth.

For one horrifying second, it looked like my entire face-paint setup might come crashing down.

Thankfully, her grandpa grabbed the table and saved the day.

After my heart returned to my body, I grabbed my rainbow brush and started painting little rainbow hearts on her arms, because sometimes the kid creating the chaos is also the kid who needs a little extra love in that exact moment.

And then, because apparently the day needed one more plot twist, a huge gust of wind came through and flipped my entire table over anyway.

Paints.

Brushes.

Sponges.

Water.

All of it.

Everywhere.

My daughter looked absolutely horrified.

And weirdly, I felt… nothing.

Not rage.

Not panic.

Not I cannot handle one more thing today.

I just looked at the pile and thought:

Ugh. That’ll take me about seven minutes to clean up.

So I cleaned it up.

And then I kept going.

I didn’t even take a picture because honestly, it wasn’t a meaningful disaster.

It was just annoying. 😂

And maybe that sounds like a tiny thing, but it actually stuck with me.

Because sometimes growth doesn’t look like becoming more productive or having everything figured out.

Sometimes it looks like the thing that once would have completely overwhelmed you happening right in front of you…

and realizing it doesn’t have the same power over you anymore.

“Surprise Me.”

My favorite request of the weekend might have been the simplest.

One girl climbed into my chair and said:

“Surprise me.”

Ohhhhhhh okay. 😏

You have officially handed an artist creative control.

Since we are squeezing the last little drops out of summer, I asked if I could give her an ocean-inspired design.

She trusted me.

And suddenly I was completely in my happy place.

A teal-and-purple seahorse swept across her face.

A jellyfish floated down her arm.

Pink.

Teal.

Purple.

Sparkles.

Basically all of my favorite things.

And somewhere in the middle of painting her, I had this little realization:

Oh. There I am.

The artist is not gone.

The playful version of me is not gone.

The part of me that loves experimenting, making things beautiful, and following whatever idea lights up my brain is still very much alive.

Maybe she has just been crowded out.

Maybe she needed a little room.

In Quietness and Trust

There is a verse I keep coming back to this week:

“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” — Isaiah 30:15

Those words feel very different to me right now than they might have a few years ago.

Returning.

Rest.

Quietness.

Trust.

None of those words sound like pushing harder.

None of them sound like solving my whole life by Tuesday.

None of them sound like filling every empty space with another event, another job, another project, another plan.

Maybe God does not need me frantically manufacturing the next chapter.

Maybe I need enough quiet to notice where He is already leading me.

And maybe slowing down is not taking something away from my life.

Maybe it is making room for parts of me to come alive again.

A Little Question for You

What has gotten crowded out of your life lately?

Something you used to love.

A hobby.

A friendship.

A walk.

A quiet morning.

A creative project.

Prayer.

Rest.

Play.

Maybe you do not need to completely redesign your life this week.

Maybe you simply need to make a little room.

Ten minutes.

An afternoon.

One small decision that says:

This matters to me too.

I am still figuring out what that looks like in my own life.

But this week reminded me that I have not lost myself.

Maybe I am simply learning how to make enough room to find myself again.

Where to Find Me This Weekend

This weekend feels a little different—and honestly, I’m excited about that.

On Friday, August 28, I’ll be back on my home turf at Susquenita High School for the first football game of the season from 6:00–9:00 p.m. 🏈✨

I’ll be there with face painting, henna, hair tinsel, and plenty of sparkle, so if you’re local, come find me and say hi!

On Saturday, I’m heading to a private birthday party to bring some sparkle magic to the celebration.

And then Sunday…

I have nothing booked.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I could say that. 😂

So I’m finally going to do something I have been invited to do several times but have never seemed to have enough wiggle room for:

Go to church.

And that feels especially meaningful after everything I have been thinking and praying about lately.

I keep saying I want more community.

More faith.

More roots.

More room.

Maybe creating that kind of life starts by actually leaving enough space in the calendar to step into it.

Friday is community.

Saturday is work I enjoy.

Sunday gets to be church, family, rest, and whatever God wants to do with the space.

That sounds pretty good to me. ❤️

Until next time…

With a grateful heart, a paintbrush waiting for cooler weather, and probably a little glitter stuck somewhere on me,
 Brookie ✨